UP IN SMOKE

by joey on june, 11th 2025

I spent the last 3 years of my life working in the cannabis industry, next week I start my new job;
in the government . . . I’m the type of person to just apply to whatever random job, regardless if I’m qualified or not; worst they can say is ‘no’, right? When I got my last job, I wasn’t really a smoker at all, I mean, I used to smoke in highschool or I would do it socially, but it wasn’t something I did regularly. That being said, my family grew and smoked around me as a kid, so I was familiar enough with the plant that I thought selling it wouldn’t be too hard. In fact, when I was in elementary school, I used to write papers about decriminalization and legalization, it’s something I felt (and still feel…) strongly about. My experience, or lack of, didn’t matter in the end, I had my then boss and mentor laughing so much, he forgot to ask! Two weeks into the job, he comes up to me and asks “Hey, I forgot to ask during the interview, but, what’s your favorite way to consume?” I sheepishly replied “oh, uh, I don’t really smoke, not regularly anyways!”
I started out only as a seasonal person, I was due to go back to dental school in the fall, I had no idea my entire life course was going to change after that.
When I was leaving that summer, my boss told me I was welcome to come back any time, and he thanked me. Me? For what? All I did was sell weed. I brought a fresh palette to the place, being I was still green when it came to cannabis (pun intended) I provided a unique perspective, and because of that he decided he was no longer going to count someone out for not having cannabis experience.
Winter break rolled around, I struggled hard with chemistry and as I looked around I realized… I didn’t wanna be a dentist anymore, I wanna sell weed, but, I was already so far along with my studies, I couldn’t just drop out… so… psychology here I come!
I became so much closer to all of my co-workers, we hung out outside of work, they accepted me, every part of me, they were so accommodating to my neurodivergent brain, and as it turned out, most the people I worked with were some kind of neurodivergent too, go figure. That summer my boss took a promotion and a new person stepped into his role… she was… hard to read. It took a lot of time, but we got used to her. She was a few ranks higher than my last boss, which meant she had to flex at other locations so it left us without a real manager for a long time…All the while I was putting in as much effort as I could, this was a place I believed in and I wanted to be at, every time a position was open I applied, every time they said jump, I said how high, while jumping up and down. But… full-time never came, I made good money, especially in the summer, but… when you’re poor and on government insurance, you can’t make good money without losing your insurance. As I had just been diagnosed with Autism and was finally given access to ADHD medication, I needed to keep my insurance, which put me in a hard spot to be in…
The company continued to grow in every possible way, and it felt like corporate was starting to overstep more and more (without providing more support…) But, I still loved my humans, so I stayed and kept trying, eventually I was put in charge of their social media pages! I felt on top of the world, I had a safe support system, I was medicated and I loved what I did, I felt respected! But more changes kept happening… good people were fired for things they shouldn’t have been fired for and I guess the veneer was just getting chipped away and I started to see the company the way my coworkers did…
Because my boss wasn’t around much, my manager, we’ll call her M, stepped up and became everything the store needed. She was one of the original people who had opened the store, she was fiery and confident, and I kind of idolized her. In December she was fired without warning… I ran in to her while pumping gas, well, more like I saw her car and waited for her in the parking lot like a creep, but, that’s not important right now ^^;. Anyways, she told me everything One of the leads who had transferred from the neighboring store had been filing reports about me for over 6 months, every little mistake in our fulfillment room was done by me. My heart broke, because only a week before learning this, I was sabotaged.
A lead position had opened up, like I said, I apply to it every time! This time, when it was time for my meeting I was scheduled to work… no biggie, they’ll just pull me in to the office when it’s time! I told everyone, my new ASM and the transfer lead… except… no one pulled me in to the office, and every computer in the building was taken, and, to top it off… I was the only person doing sales… as usual…
I was met with an email from HR and the hiring manager that because I had missed the meeting they would not be interviewing me… I did my best to try and not take it personally, these things happen, I’m not crazy and no one is out to get me! Except… M confirmed someone WAS out to get me the whole time, more and more started to fall in to place… I was actively being targeted by this girl…
I had been trying to get a different job for months, at least since M was fired, but… it was hard… I didn’t want to start over, I made so much progress and really came out of my shell here! Plus, I was one of the top sellers in my store, I was earning my keep! But… I kept getting in trouble…
There was a month where I was being pulled into the office to be spoken to nearly every shift until I was finally written up…Transfer Girl (That’s all she’ll be known as to me…), lured me in to a conversation, weaponizing “open door policy”, plus I needed her perspective about something happening in another store, we talked, all was good, she kept asking me about the situation and then… I come in to work 2 weeks later and… I’m being given a termination warning… I’ve never been written up before, not since grade school anyways, I was heart broken, HR scolded me and said “We’ve talked to you before about gossiping.” But they hadn’t ! And I hadn’t! I looked down at the write-up slip, and just… laughed until I cried. My ASM offered me to take my lunch early to calm down… I had just gotten there, why would I want to do that!? Plus… it was just me and Transfer Girl closing that night. I wiped the tears from my eyes and said “No, I just wanna go home…” And I left. I worked the rest of my weekend shift, and cleared out my locker.
During that period, I was doing round after round of interviews at my new job. Communication was slow and confusing, sometimes I wasn’t even sure they were talking to the right person! Not to mention, I’m totally emo, I don’t have business clothes! In the downtime between interviews I kept panic-thrifting business casual clothes to become the office siren of my dreams.
The new job seems easy enough, I haven’t started it yet, but, I’m excited! It pays good, full benefits plus PTO!? I’ve never even had PTO before! It still feels like they’ve got the wrong person and that I’m not qualified for this… but… they picked me! The job is mostly just office work, answering phones and maybe sometimes going to events (I hope my septum ring doesn’t get me in trouble…). I’m just relieved, I felt so guilty while I was job hunting, like I owed that place more than what I gave them. So… how did I quit selling weed? You didn’t ask that, but it felt like a natural way to transition and wrap up this blog post.
ASM dude, pulls me in to the office for my 1-on-1, basically just to discuss numbers and if the schedule is okay, which, it wasn’t, after my write-up they started to schedule me only 10hrs a week, but thats not important right now. I talked about wanting full time, still, but I knew I would never get it…everyone in the company knows a corrective action (or write up) makes you ineligible for promotion and they never fall off or go away… I was royally fucked. ASM dude encourages me to apply to the lead role that's opening up, Transfer Girl was… you guessed it, Transferring again (3rd time now I think). I hesitated, I knew I couldn’t get it, but… what if I could… then I wouldn’t have to worry about this government job, and, the mean girl would be gone! So… I applied.
Only to be met with an email, FROM ASM DUDE, telling me that I would not be considered for an interview because of my write-up. Dude. What. That’s exactly what I told HIM, but he gave me false hope, he tricked me. If he didn’t trick me, and he didn’t know it would bar me from it, then he is too inexperienced to be an ASM. So which is it, are you manipulating me to be a dickhead and make me quit, or are you grossly incompetent? Which is… in casual words what my email response was to him. I showed up for work, and the lead I was most comfortable with, the Witch, you guys would love her, she’s awesome! Anyways, we were standing in silence that morning when I said, “I should probably tell you.. Today is my last day.”
And… that was kind of it. I still need to work up the nerve and pick up my tips, it feels so empty, and… no one has really reached out to see if I’m okay, but, I am. I’m okay, I think? Anyways, I should wrap this up! This is my first time in a looooooong time blogging, I’m so nervous! ^^ I’m beginning a new season in my life, it’s so so scary, but I’m tired of fearing change…